who knew.

so this girl is sad because she thinks she lost my attention.

well, there probably is truth to that, but she didn't do much to try and keep it there anyway.
i'm not going to waste time chasing people--especially because im going back to school, don't have time for that shit. again, that doesn't mean i don't want to get to know people. there's a HUGE difference.

i just think its funny how one day she was totally like omg be my girlfriend, and then after that, she didn't really bother to say much haha.

plus, blatantly saying "you're going to be my gf" without really getting to know me, is a huge turn OFF. like, i get it, you're pretty, you're confident in yourself, but.. so what? i've dealt with pretty people, and they're SO boring--or just act REALLY stupid because they think they're immune to everything (am i the only one noticing this trend?).

once i get used to your face, there's not so much to appeal after that. unless you have an amazing personality... but there's just something about girls who hugely rely on their beauty tending to forget that. and it's pretty annoying. i mean, i could work on a girl and try and make herself better.. buttttttttt im fucking LAZY. (besides, if they wanted to truly be a better person, they'd do it themselves. pretty damn positive thats the way it works)

either that, or all they want is sex.
*shrug*
who knows what the hell is in store for me.


i dont know where i'm going with this.
but all i want right now is a cigarette.


OH, one more thing. i kinda hate it when people act like being single is the worst thing ever.
like, cmon. you can't live your life tethered to someone's hip. that was me the last 2 years, and i totally LOST myself. and shit went down the drain.

this just could be me ranting because i'm not ready for some big commitment again.
that's my imperfection right now though. because i know if i get into a relationship THIS INSTANCE, i will fuck it up. not by cheating or anything like that. but by doing the exact same shit i did with amber. lose myself. become that person's bitch.

so. i'm just being me.
and i don't want to deal with you if you're gonna be sad that i didn't talk to you for X amount of days.

the end.